Starting over
by Crinibusandy
Summary: When Lou lose her job, the opportunity of a better one arrives, she didn't know that she was going to face a much bigger challenge and that it would fill her life with purpose.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there! This is going to be my first fic ever, so try to remember that English is not my native language and i would appreciate if you notice something weird in my grammar to let me know. Soon after this, the fic is going to develop the growing friendship between Lou and Will. You could give me some ideas to where they can go in the countryside of England. Thank you all for reading, hope you like this!**

 **Characters belong to Jojo Moyes.**

It was hard to have your family depending on your income, especially working as a waitress in The Buttered Bun, a coffee shop that has very few clients every day, who tend to ask the same questions every time they enter, even if they know that the calories of the buns are the same as yesterday s bun, the tea is served at the same temperature each time, and yes, we can put all in a bag for latter. But if you think about it, it was even harder to have your family depending on your income when you stop having one. All the pressure i ve been feeling the past couple of days is exhausting. I can hardly breath when i step foot in my home after every failed attempt to get a job, my father sinks even more in his restrained depression, my mother manage a smile but we all can see the deception in her eyes, my sister pretends to be supportive but all she wants is to alleviate her own shoulders and be confortable again working the minimum time possible.

* * *

It has been a fortnight when a opportunity came in the form of a long time sitting in front of a job centre s worker. A cry for help from a family that tried out too many caregivers within a month s time. It was simple, go to the interview, demonstrate that i am capable of taking care of a disable man, and take the job. How many complications can present in an strict plan like this one?

In the end, i was terrible wrong. An awful lot of things could go wrong in the short period of time of an interview. The first would be to be dressed like a 1980s secretary, and if that wasn't uncomfortable enough, hearing the material torn apart leaving a revealing sight of my tight for everyone to admire , or that i couldn't form a coherent sentence to justify why i m here in the first place, or that ..

"So would you like the job?" Camilla Traynor said.

"Sorry?" i feel like this was a big joke. But eventually i managed to making work my brain cells and listen to all the names and things i would have to do, starting tomorrow morning.

The annex was at least two times my house. Seeing all adapted for the easy living of someone in a wheelchair was strange, but then i couldn't help but think that is not easy living being in a wheelchair, least of all if you aren t able to move anything apart from your head. Leaving aside my thoughts started to pay attention to Camilla, who was knocking in a door, out of which a kind of music i ve never heard before was playing at a "numb my eardrums" volume.

A broad New Zealand accent was heard. 'He s decent, Mrs T.'

The doors opened and there was a solidly built man in white collarless scrubs that i assumed was Nathan the male nurse. And at exactly 3 seconds after fixing my sight in the man sitting in the wheelchair my face crumbled. In front of me there is a man having a kind of epileptic attack combined with exaggerated face spasms and noises i only heard in bad zombie movies.

Oh god, this is going to be tougher than i thought.

I was gobsmacked when Will, after his show of welcome, proceed to stare at me like if i was the dumbest creature in the planet. Being honest, i look the part, with my mouth hanging open and wide eyes, trying to contain...what was it? Laughter? Angry tears? Both?

All i could do was say my name stupidly with a smile plastered on my face, but apparently i already did that.  
Nathan talked me through the basic chores of the day and left the annex, leaving me with a sense of dread, thinking that somehow by the end of the day i likely find out that i have poisoned my boss.

* * *

Rather quickly i discovered that having a heavily depressed man sitting in a chair looking the wind, makes a thick layer of sadness descend over every single thing. And thats how it has been for a couple of weeks in the Traynor´s household.

One day something in the routine has changed, after the unexpected visit from some of Will's "friends", i did no longer dread the idea of being all waking hours with him. I was able to understand a little more how some dumb accident can demolish your entire form of living, your entire circle of people, the ones you believed to be your closest friends turn to be strangers, you're not part of the common people society anymore, not until you find someone who doesn't see your chair but you as you. And nothing more. Why is so different to be confined to a wheelchair? If our mind don't change, why are people looking to the disabled like if they were some kind of alien?

I realise something that day. I'm exactly the same as those people. And in that moment i didn't want to be Will's carer anymore, i only want to be his friend.

* * *

My plan was, basically, try to remain the biggest amount of time in the same space as him. I would clean his living room while he was listening music, or tidy his bedroom after giving him the medication until Nathan arrive, or making the time between spoonfuls stretch for as long as i could without seeming that i forget about him, or try to chit-chat while i was putting another movie. He stop complaining after a few days, and by the fifth day he start talking.

'Clark. Are you in any kind of pain?' When i turn around he was watching me with a malicious smirk.

'Wh...Why would i?'

'I could see you were having spasms as bad as i have them.' His smirk starting to expand all over his face, eyes shining with humor.'That or you like my music but have absolutely no idea how to follow the beat.'

My cheeks flush a bright red and i try to look like i didn't care being observed, and took on a defensive response. 'I bet you couldn't beat me in a dance competence.' My eyes widen and i await to be yell about my insubordination. When suddenly an abrupt laugh irrumpts in the living. I look perplexed to the person emiting that sound.

Finally i start to see the crack in the hard shell surrounding Will Traynor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, thank you so much for all the support! I'm really enjoying writing this story. I hope you like it too! Let me know what you think. All the help is welcome.**

 **I won't be able to post so quickly like in this particular case. It's the emotion of a new story, so, don't expect one every 24 hours. Read you soon!**

* * *

The bright afternoon sun shined brightly upon the town.I was soaking in it while waiting for Patrick to finish his Sundays laps. Sometimes i would follow him on my old bike, the one that my mom used when she went out of the house regularly. But today i let my mind fly in different directions. For starters, it goes to home, my family is thrilled about my new job and the amount of money we are going to be seeing. My father was able to breath again and concentrate again in finding a job of his own and not thinking about all the things he can't give us. My mother, it seems, is not capable to stop giving me tips to improve the quality of my job, talking about what could possibly be a good conversation starter, or what kind of tea Will would like better, forgetting that i worked in a coffe shop for 6 years. Then it goes to Will. He made an improvement towards my presence, saying 'Morning' with a sleepy voice and eyes half closed, that I particularly find adorable, when I give him his pills. He talks more, if he finds me in his living or bedroom, he starts conversations or points out something that I'm doing wrong and makes me feel like he probably could do it better even if he can't move at all. And sometimes he gives me a barely audible thanks, that seems he finds hard to declare, like the word has claws and clings to his throat trying to stay inside.  
Tomorrow I start a new week in this work, and really I can't complain anymore. It's easy now that I have learned what to do and how to do it, in terms of routine, but I know it would take time to keep learning who is Will. He doesn't give me much information about anything, and maybe I should start talking about me so he relaxes and open a little.

'AAAAAAH' I jump to my feet, searching the source that makes my heart to nearly stop. Patrick was there, lying on the floor having a laughing fit, sucking in air when he could manage, tears rolling from his eyes, as if nearly giving me a premature death was something hilarious.

'You... should have... seen your.. face! hahahaha'

I glared at him, he didn't even look at me, rolling around like some pig in mud.'Don't be such a wanker, what's your problem, you haven't burned enough energy in your run?'

'Where did you go? I was making a lot of noise coming up that hill, still thinking about having to whip spit out of your boss chin tomorrow?'

'I can't believe you just said that awful thing. How could you made fun of someone you don't even know?

I was seething with anger. Here I stand, in front of the great athletic man, that said he likes to help people get in better shape, to help improve health, while he dares to make a comment so disgusting.  
He must have seen my expression, because instantly he was backpedalling trying to justify why he said it.

' Whoa, whoa sorry. But I thought that you hated your boss, you said he was grumpy all the time and looked at you like you were a little slow. Why should I not make fun of him if he is treating you like that?'

' The fact that he was an ogre when I first met him doesn't give you the right to assume he still is. And definitely doesn't give you the right to insult him like you did, he isn't able to move, but he surely can pick up when someone is degrading him!'

I stormed off in a random direction, hurrying along the grass, trying in vain to win when Patrick is the one following me. He caught up with me when I reached the houses near the bridge.  
'Hey Lou! Stop please, come on, don't be so. Look, I won't make fun of him again, and if I do for some reason offend him, you can punish me making me eat a high calorie diet for an entire day. Deal?'

'I'll think about it Patrick, I've to go, I have to be up early tomorrow.'

'But it's four in the afternoon! You told me you would go with me to dinner with the guys!'

'I'm tired, I'll go to the next one.' I turn around and made my way home without looking back.

* * *

CRASH! Oh god oh god. Why is this happening here? Why not at home, where the mugs don't cost the same as all the things we have in the kitchen put together? I hope with all my heart that Mrs Traynor doesn't make a habit of counting the china weekly to make sure I didn't steal anything. Suddenly I heard a throat clearing, and turned around expecting to see Camilla with her characteristic frown.

'Oh! Will! How long have you been standing there?' I didn't hear him enter! how could I miss the humming of his chair? I see him raising an eyebrow like trying to say, really?

' Actually, I don't think I've been able to stand for any period of time in about... two years. But to answer your question, longer than you'd like.'

'Uhmm, yes, well, I... Are you going to tell your mother?' My face could burst into flames right now. His mouth is twitching, and he thinks that the effort he is making not to laugh at me isn't noticed.

'Clark, I didn't know you were my little sister. If I don't tell mum, what would you do for me?' I haven't seen Will so amused before, this was a first, making fun of me seems to do him some good.

'Anything! I could be your servant for a week, even the weekend! That's what I made my sister Treen do when I was still more intelligent than her.' Seeing that his face has changed to some weird contemplative look.

' Why would you do that? Put yourself down?'

' I don't, she is the smartest of the family.' There was silence, while he stared at me. Then something shifts in his eyes and a mischievous glint take place.

'So... pay me enough, and I didn't see a thing.' My eyes widened, how could he possibly ask me for money? Oh no.. what kind of payment does he mean... but before my thoughts could start travelling to that creepy corner of my mind, he explodes with laughter. While doing so, he turned his chair and drive himself to the living room, but before disappearing, he said.

' I expect you on Saturday to start your week as a slave. Oh, and bring some snacks!'

* * *

I lay in bed looking at the pattern of my roof, there's some photos I glued in place, some decoration I've made by Thom, my nephew, and the cracks and patches of wallpaper peeling off. I don't know why I'm awake, if I don't have to work, I usually sleep a little more, but this morning, any position I've tried to accommodate myself to be comfortable, doesn't seem to work out.

After hours of trying I give up. I find myself some clothes and put another outfit, that consist in, the more comfortable seats I've ever owned, in a backpack, in case Will have some weird idea resulting in me ruining my skirt. Downstairs my mum, it's finished the tea and offers me a cup. It's been a while since my mother and I sit in peace and talk. After all the normal things one can say in the beginning of a chat, she asks.

'How is Patrick doing? I haven't seen him for a couple of weeks, I think'

'Mm, he has been busy training, I don't see much of him either, and every time I do, he manages to take me to some kind of "friends of the tracks" club. Everything they discuss it's record times in running, record times in cycling, or record times in...'

'Okay, I understand, he isn't giving you any time at all. Why don't you talk to him about it? Maybe he doesn't even realise that he is neglecting you.'

' I really don't think he even listen to me, with the competitions so close, his mind is set on that. And... the other day we had... some kind of discussion, I don't know if I want to start another, so soon, I was seriously angry.'

'Angry? Lou, you rarely get angry about anything, what happened? Did he want to take advantage of you? Did he.. '

'MUM! I hardly think that after 6 years together, he can take advantage of me' It was apparent that our faces were having a competition, which can be redder in a short amount of time.

'Well then, if you are not going to see Patrick today, why are you awake this early on a weekend?'

' I have to go to the annex'

'Now you are working on weekends? That boy doesn't have parents to look after him? What kind of family you work for? That they don't look after each other?'

' Mum, I'm going to the annex, because Will asked me to, not because I have to work.'

'Oh.. that's better, he could use your personality around to cheer him up' She gave me a smile and went to the kitchen to start cleaning.

* * *

'Hey Nathan, how are you?' He is great, I don't think he can be in any other mood than cheerful.

'Hey mate, I'm great. You? Did you forget something yesterday?'

'No, Will invite me over.' I could see the surprise all over his face, he didn't attempt to mask it neither.

'Wh...Will? He asked you? WOW you know that in these two years of knowing Will, he has never asked me to come for a friendly visit?'

'Well, no, I didn't know, but.. you are here, so. Stay, we can all watch a movie or maybe go to the castle.'

' I would like to stay, to see if nobody has changed Will for his good twin brother, but I was not invited by the bad twin. Maybe I can complain tomorrow about that. Have fun you two, he really needs it'

I think I was standing there for a couple of minutes before I heard the humming of the chair nearing the kitchen. I put the kettle on, and pretend that I was being useful and not a piece of furniture since I arrived. 'Hey Clark, I thought I heard you enter a while ago'

' Yes, yes, I did. Saw Nathan in his way out'

'Okay..' He watched me prepare the tea and once I've finished saying, 'Would you like to go for a walk? It's a great day.'

This was the first time that I see Will outside of the annex, the sun in his hair gave him a little reddish glint, and when the wind disturbs it, it makes me feel like I'm watching the sea at sunset.

'So Clark, what do you do when you're not here?'

I look at him and see his wanting my answer. 'Not much. I watch the telly, play with Thom, that's my nephew, mmm I read, sometimes, and sit someplace waiting for Patrick to finish his training.'

' Wow, you do a lot, but by the way you told me about all of this, your days are even more boring than mine.' I gifted him with my "oh really funny" eyebrows and he chuckled. ' And who's Patrick, your boyfriend?' I nod and frown. ' What's wrong, not a good topic?'

' No, he was a wanker a couple of days ago and I haven't seen him yet'

' What kind of atrocity one have to do, to be called a wanker by Louisa Clark' That made me smile. I looked into his eyes and I could see the curiosity in them, mixed with a little eagerness to discover something new.

And in that exact point of our relationship, I started to trust Will.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to all of you!** **I hope you enjoy this part, we are going to witness an entire day full of Lou and Will. See you in chapter 4!**

 **Characters belong to Jojo Moyes.**

* * *

It hit me like a bolt, with the certainty that this thought was revealed to me. Like it wasn't a new thought that just entered my mind, but something rooted under my skin all this time, and just now resurfaced to be discovered. The feeling of being able to pour your soul, even the little, darker and unreachable corners, to someone. The parts of your soul that don't see light for fear of rejection, shame, or simply because nobody would want them to.

The human beings runs much deeper that the doctors know. We could go on and on travelling somebody's soul. There would be things that inspire us, things we would take notice off, some of which we could learn from, and frightened of others, but never in eternity we would be capable of fully comprehend them. And I think, probably nobody comprehends oneself either. We are always surprising ourselves. Since I started this job, I'm discovering new things about myself all the time, And as time passes my brain is accommodating to see things in another perspective.

'Clark?... Louisa?' I heard my name again and again and realized that I haven't been paying attention for a while.

'What? Sorry, I don't know where my mind runs off.' He raised an eyebrow and started to grin. 'Did you say anything? Sorry. Really. What did you ask?'

' Stop blabbering. Is not a big thing, everybody gets lost in thoughts. Would you like to share what I shouldn't do? I don't want to be a wanker,' I chuckled and start talking.

'He scared me to death... nearly to death. And then while laughing and rolling in the dirt like some happy pig, he made an awful comment that made my blood reach boiling temperature. And he dares to tell me I have to accompany him to dinner with all his fit friends. I swear, the only thing they talk about is who has ingested less calories that day, or they stupid Lycra EVERYTHING, I didn't find a logical explanation of how the sweat can even get out of their bodies with those close-fitting clothes.' After a deep breath I fixed my sight in a perplexed looking Will.

'Wow, that was a very detailed explanation. Would you want to know what I think?'

'You're telling me anyway, won't you?'

'Obviously. I think that scare you nearly to dead to see you react like you did, would be hilarious, but I wouldn't dare to do it knowing how you'd react. My brain is very precious to me, i don't wan't it to get bruised. It is the only thing I have left intact.'

'I do not think you've lost the use of your dark humor' He gifted me with the biggest smile I've ever seen. All teeth and...I'm seeing dimples behind that beard?

'Ah yes, how could I exasperate my dear mother without it?' I couldn't help but laugh.

'Nathan is right, you're terrible! The look on your mother's face when we first met and you started your Christy Brown impression was ...priceless'

'Hahaha it was. And so was yours, if I remember correctly you couldn't close your mouth, neither'

'That's not... I didn't. How could I possibly know what to do? The only thing that crosses my mind was if I should laugh or not. After you finished and I realized you weren't going to be making those noises all the time, it was pretty funny.'

'Funny? uh! I can't believe that someone other than Nathan finds it funny. I'd scared more than a couple of carers with my impressions.'

It was nice to enjoy the sun, so we stay for a while relaxing in the gardens. And we didn't notice that a mother was watching us with hopeful eyes and a tiny smile on her usually stony face.

* * *

I've never seen a movie with subtitles before, and I was totally enamoured with them now. I was stretching out on the couch holding a pillow to my chest, trying not to sob out loud. Will was looking at me waiting to win his bet. He told me before the film has started that I couldn't hold it together and would begin to snivel like a child. So I've tried my best, closing my eyes and concentrating just in my breathing.

After a few minutes of feeling Will's stare, I jumped out of the couch yelling ' YES! I did it! I win, now you owe me!' Will had dropped his grin and replace it with an incredulous look.

' I've to tell my mother that a five years old it's taking care of her disabled son' I send a glare towards him and started making my way to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

'Hey, don't be mad, I've said meaner things to you when you started working.' I nodded agreeing. 'I'm not mad, just thinking what is going to be my reward.' He looked so worried that I had to laugh. ' It's not so bad. Hey! you don't have the right to call me a five years old and then start pouting'

'So...' Will said after we'd finished the tea ' are you going to tell me what you want as a reward?'

' I don't know yet, I let you know on Monday.'

'You have to think a whole day to figure out what you want?'

' No, I really don't. But I want to leave you imagining different scenarios'

' You need to take into account that I can't move. So that doesn't really give you a long list of things to reclaim.'

'The fact that you can't move doesn't affect your capability of doing things. Maybe you need some adjustment to be made, but don't make a comment like that again. You are not an incapable man, Will. Just... don't think that.' I said it with an angry tone. Maybe that's why he was looking at me like if I was some kind of... weird creature difficult to find in the wild.

He didn't respond anything, so we stayed in an awkward silence for a while. And like some kind of miracle, freshly fallen from the sky, Nathan arrived. He finds us there, sitting in front of each other, looking everywhere but the other, and halted in his steps. Clearing his throat louder than necessary.

'MHHMm, Hey! How are you? How was your day?' Both of us sighed with relief.

'We wheeled for a while in the gardens. We held a race to the castle gate. Play some football... and then we watch a movie.' I laugh about the absurdity and Will looked at me and smiled. ' Oh! and I discovered that Clark here, finds my humour rather funny. You are not alone in the world anymore. Cheer up!'

'That sounds fun! Who won the race?'

'There was no race, but he would have won. I'm not an athletic person at all. And he has a power chair, how could he not win?!' they laughed when I said it. 'Oh, and I won a bet! He can't believe that I didn't cry with the movie.'

'You need to thank me that I let you have some time to recover and try not to snivel'

'Okay, I have to agree with you, only because you are my boss.' Nathan was looking at us bantering with lopsided smile and a knowing look in his eyes that I could't figure it out. And I remembered that he needs to take Will for his night preparations. But I didn't feel like returning home yet. ' Hey Will, would you like me to cook you something for dinner?' I couldn't help feeling shy. I was here, trying to overstay my welcome, making excuses beca..

'Yes, thank you. But only if you stay and have dinner with me. Both of you.' He said lookig to from Nathan to me.

'Sure mate, I could use some dinner that don't come out of a fridge' I just nod while playing with my hands.

'If my father comes to bring dinner tell him that we're fine. And that I asked for a bottle of red' He winked at me and turned to drive to the bedroom.

* * *

After an hour of cooking, I placed a decent meal on the table. About fifteen minutes ago Mr. Traynor walked into the Annex and was very surprised to see me there. I told him about the red and he nods, and brought one almost immediately.  
And now here we are, having fun talking about anything and everything, telling stories, making fun of someone in town, simply having fun.

Out of nowhere Nathan was making sure we both know how to treat a lady properly, Not in the way you may think, but in a chivalrous way. I believe he has more to drink that we thought.  
' I can't stand the guy who would stops paying attention to his girlfriend. Sometimes they surpass the limits. The other night I went with a mate to have a beer in this bar, and there was a group of boys talking loudly about a trip they are going to take. And they were making sure everyone could attend. One of them didn't know how to convince his girl to go with him, because all he was supposed to be doing in the trip was participate of a competence of some kind. And the other told him he could trick her, making her like how the place sounds, and once she agreed to tell her the rest and play the guilt against her.' I turned greener and greener with every word coming out of Nathan's mouth. He shook his head and add. 'Why don't just tell her and let her decide if she want to go with a bunch of guys? Or take her to another trip? I wanted to punch the guy when he agreed to play it like that. What an arse.'

I get up and realized I was a little dizzy thanks to the wine, I managed to drink a glass of water and when I turned around, Will was there behind me. 'Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. You okay? You look a little sick. Was it the wine?'

'No, is... nothing. Come on we leave Nathan alone.'

'You alright there, Lou? You are green,'

' It was The King's Head? The bar?' He looked gobsmacked, with his mouth hanging open and shiny eyes.'

Yeah... yeah.. how? You were there? I didn't see you! That place its not that big!'

'No, I don't usually go, except when my boyfriend makes me go with him and his group of friends.'

'That guy was your... I'm so sorry Lou I didn't '

'No, it's better this way, now I know what was the big surprise he had planned for our trip' I give him a sad smile and turn my head down.

'I am in total agreement with Nathan. He is an arse' I heard some anger in his voice, so I look into his eyes and I feel like he was trying to reassure me. He did.

We finished the wine resuming the talk, and after half an hour Nathan and I get ready to go. We put Will in bed and before I could cross the door, he was asking. ' You won't leave me with a minimal clue of what you want?' I smiled and approached his bed.

'You have no patience'

'No, I think you already figured that out'

'Well, my reward has been decided the moment we made the bet, I didn't need time to think.'

'So you just feel like messing with me.'

'Yes, now you need to prepare yourself. My reward is going to be...'

'Come on, Clark, I need my sleep'

'You need to accept going out with me. Not the gardens or the castle. To some show, or picnic in a park, or to the movies! I haven't decided yet, but we can find something together'

' Oh my gooood, this is worse than I thought. You think I will agree to this?'

'You have to, you don't get to choose. And you don't get to run away from this, neither.' He close his eyes and exhaled.

'Running away it's not as easy as they make it look.' He said it with a sad voice, and I couldn't help myself. After the good time we had today, I needed to thank him somehow. So I took his hand and give him a squeeze of support. And before I could stop to think about it, i have to blame the wine for that, I lean down and plant a kiss in his left cheek.

My face flush with embarassment, quickly letting go of his hand, and making my way to the door.

'Goodnight, Clark'

I turned my head to see Will's cheeks sporting the same red as mine, and I smiled.

'Goodnight Will'


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, how are you? Thank you all for the comments, it's good to know that you are liking this so far. I hope you like this one too! Cheers!**

 **All belong to Jojo Moyes. (that's pretty obvius)**

* * *

 _Hey babe, are you home? I'm on my way there. P_

I lay in my bed at 9 p.m. It was Sunday, tomorrow I have to work and Patrick was going to drop by now, if I couldn't conceal sleep, after talking with him I'm condemned to a restless night. After the news I heard from Nathan yesterday, I'm pretty sure he is going to try and sell me the trip of the "Lycra Bollocks Convention". The day spent with Will was great, it was some time that I fell in company of a friend. Treena wasn't the same after my twenties, I think I can understand her, I'm not the same neither. It changed my life immensely, make me a little more paranoid, I started being a loner, hiding myself from the world behind my new choice of clothes. It may seem ridiculous, but the more colourful my clothes are, the more cheerful the people think I am. But in reality, I am not. I didn't enjoy how I should have this past 5 years. The friends I had from before, I realised, were friends only for drinking alcohol and make dumb comments about other people. I never really fit in, but if I want friends, there really wasn't much more choices. Then there is Patrick, he is my boyfriend of seven years, but now, every time I talk to him, it seems that his brain also exercised so much that it is so inflated that has no ability to think, because of its compression within his skull. His only focus his attention to training, and when we are together, I watch him train, or with his training friends, or before his training when he has not much time, or in the night when he trains again, but using my body as an efficient penis training machine. I had stopped enjoning the sex, at first he took his time with me, making me feel wanted, loved, worshipped. But eventually all that was replaced with a self enjoyment where I start to take the second place in the act, no, not the second, the third. It was Little Pat first, followed by his ego and then me, the person who was there just to enjoy his company. I don't have doubts about of his love for me, after all, seven years is a long time. But I'm certain that he loves himself a lot more.  
I heard a knock on the front door, and make my way downstairs. Opening the door, I see Patrick with an outfit a little more constrained than a latex glove.

'Hey babe! I just finish with training, like, five minutes ago, when I send you the text. I can't believe I did it this fast!' Okay, here we go again, running man, like Will like to call him, started talking. Is this why he was so anxious to see me?

'Hey..'

'What's up babe? Are you going to let me in? I could do with a glass of watter'

'Sure, come in. Did you eat something?'

'Yes, a banana. Thats all for tonight. Lou, where have you been? We don't see each other since the other week!'

'Working. I've been working Patrick.'

'Yeah..I know that. How is your boss doing? I could see that he remembered how did I react the other day. So I could give him the chance of beig polite.

'He's doing fine. We are getting along much better now.' He made a face at this news, like he didn't really like the idea. He reached for me and gave me a kiss. It wasn't long, but a reassurance of "this girl is mine" kind of kiss.

'That is actually great news! Maybe now he can give you longer vacations. I found the perfect place for us to go! Amazing place, really, wait to see pictures! You won't believe it!' So this was it, The trick. I was prepared, putting on my big but sad smile I look towards him.

'Pat, I'm so sorry, but it's not going to happen this year. I'm new to this job, and it would only be for six months! I can't take vacations for one of those six! I wish i could go, but if you want, you can go alone for this one. Maybe the next one?'

I could see the disappointment in his face, but not for long. He changed it for anger really quick. 'What? Now you are going to change our vacations, the ones we planned, for work? I can't believe you Lou!'

' Well its not my choice anyway.'

' So apparently this don't even matter to you?'

' Look, I have to look after my family, now I'm the only one gaining enough to have dinner at the table. Stop pretending that life is based on running and nothing more!'

'I don't pretend that! For me is running is very important, you should know that! That's why I want you to come with me to this triathlon!' Yes! now I don't have to reveal that I already knew this. He makes a mistake, and he notices.

'Right, now is a triathlon, what happen to the romantic vacation? I guess it's going to be, for you and your friends. Why didn't you mention them before?' He started to open and close his mouth like a goldfish. Looking anywhere but my eyes.

'I... I... They.. They are not going to come with us! I'm sure they have another hotel nearby, but not the same! They shouldn't be a problem. Besides the Thriatlon won't last all vacations. We are going to have plenty of time to do other things.'

' Patrick, nobody can go one month on vacations! I know I can't spend all that money. And when we arrive there, you are going to train your arse off to win or make it to the end. The only thing I'm going to do is spend money because of boredom waiting for you.'

' I could pay! You can give it back whenever you can! Come on Lou, its been to long!'

' If you wanted to be with me, you should have think about not going with another twenty people at the same place, least of all people you should know I can barely stand! The only thing they talk about is calories, tights and firm bottoms!'

' They are just like me, I like them! Why can't you share something that I like with me? It's so hard!?'

'Maybe it is! Maybe it is hard to share something with you that it's not an option, but something that you shove down my ears every time I am with you, you don't have another topic. Even when I want to talk about some other thing, we only get back where we started! Maybe because after seven years I realized you don't treat me like you once did. And I really want the old Patrick, but I can't have it. You are self centred and I don't want to be the supporting part of the relationship all the time. Maybe because I want to be the one to be supported for once.'

There was absolute silence. I couldn't believe my outburst. I never did that before. I think I'm really changing. I don't know if I should feel bad for Patrick, or good for myself. I finally told him what I've been thinking for a couple of years. And now I feel so... free. Patrick looks at me with questioning eyes and then the realization of what I was actually telling him show in his face.

We were both standing in the kitchen, so the only thing he had to do was walk around and leave. He only told me one more thing before closing the door. ' But... it's been so long Lou...' I take it for what it was. An attempt of confirming what he couldn't believe. My only answer was a nod.

* * *

I'm not sure how my body is able to operate right now. With no sleep, no food, a long walk, and a disrupted mind. Making my way to the annex I slow down my pace until the watch on my wrist decide to tell me it's 8 o'clock. Usually I am the one to wake up Will, well...when he is actually sleeping and not just laying there waiting for me. But today my brain and body apparently decided to wait for Nathan to do this chore.

I was sitting there, looking at nothing in particular and didn't even hear the door closing. It startled me when a hand was suddenly in my shoulder and I let a little squeal.

'It's me! Lou calm down. My goodness, what was that?'

'Oh Nathan, sorry, didn't see you.' I think my normal answer makes him realise that I wasn't in a good shape.

'Lou... you look haggard. What happened? Are you sick? We can arrange for you to go home.'

' No, no. Don't want to go home. Bad night, terrible if I think about it.' He looked at me for a while taking me in. Then he went to put the kettle on and order for me to stay put and wait for him. He selected some medications and head off to Will's bedroom.

Assuming that the order to stay put prevented for me to prepare the tea, I just stay in my seat listening to the whistling kettle. He came running to the kitchen, and started making breakfast.

'What about Will? He needs to eat.'

'Yes, he told me to prepare the food and tea and then go get him.'

I fixed my gaze on Will's door, and waited for Nathan to finish. I wish he could hurry, I need something to help my brain accommodate in the present. Barely noticing that I was left alone again, it came as a surprise seeing Will coming out ready for the day with Nathan by his side. He stopped in front of me and raises an eyebrow, and seeing my lack of reaction he frowned.

'Louisa? Are you alright? It's not like you to be so quiet.' Focusing my eyes in his, we stared at each other off a few minutes, this kind of trance only broken thanks to the food being placed on the table. We all started eating, in reality Will and Nathan were those who ate. Me feeding Will without a shred of energy.

'Clark, you need to eat, take a break in my feeding and start with yours.'

'I'm fine, I can eat later.' 'Lou, he is right, we cannot risk for you to faint, you are so pale.'

'Please Clark. You can rest for some time after breakfast, but you need to eat.' Looking at the worried faces of both men, I couldn't refuse. Oh god, this spoonful is like magic, it makes my stomach open and snarl, asking me to feed it. When I finished my food, Nathan told us that he needed to go visit another patient. So it was down to Will and I and the silence of the morning.

'You want to come with me to the living? Maybe watch a movie or something?' My smile was shy, but grateful, I nod and started making my way to the couch. He started to chuckle and I looked at him confused.

'I like that about you. I think it's your best quality.'

'I can't say I know what you're talking about.'

'That you forget my physical condition, and more than once a day you expect for me to do things. Just now you were lying there waiting for me to pick a movie.'

' Sorry..' Ashamed, that's the only thing my face was telling him.

' No, no, Clark. I love it! That means you see me as Will, not your patient. And I can't tell you how grateful I am for that.' I got up and put a hand on his shoulder, and with a look Tate said "are you kidding?" I told him.

'Of course you are Will, if you are not, then I don't know where the hell my legs take me to this morning.' He laughed and it was the first time since last night that I feel like myself. I smiled at him and thank him. 'What for?' ' cheering me up.' 'What happend to you Lou?' I sighed and sit down again. ' Last night Patrick came home, and all blow up when he started talking about the vacations. I told him how I no longer liked the person he is, how he didn't pay attention to me and I was the supporter in the relationship. I'm tired. I don't want to be there to listen every detail anymore. So I'm not. I'm done with him and the situation I've been enduring for years.'

My eyes were filled with tears, but I make an effort to keep them there. Will get close to me, and with his most efficient arm, managed to put his hand on top of mine. I was astonished by the contact. Even more when I could feel his thumb caressing my skin. Our eyes met, and his mouth form a little smile.

'You deserve to be the centre of attention in any relationship. So that's why I'm asking you this.' He paused just to make me anxious. ' Do you have any idea where are you going to take me so you can torture me? This is your moment. I'm going to accept anything that you have in mind.' I couldn't help but laugh, and then a smile that reached both of my ears form in its own account in my face.

' Okay, I was thinking something I've never done before... What about horse races?'

' NO! absolutely no! I hate them, please, anything but that. Please?'

My heart was so soft because of all this situation, that I didn't deny him. ' Well, since you are changing my plans, we can go to a concert, one we are going to pick together. And have to come to a picnic with me, today.'

' Hey, that's two outings.'

' Sorry, you need to think better before denying me.' He glared at me and started turning his chair to leave. So much of the nice Will. When he was out of sight I hear him calling to me.

'Hey Clark! Are you going to start making sandwiches or not? We don't have all day!' I bolted to the kitchen with the same big smile in my face. All the frustration, sadness and concerns, were left behind in that amazing couch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey there! I hope you like this one. Let me know what you think, it's good to know how you feel about this. It is my first fic, so I'm experimenting here. I'm making their relationship progress slow, because I think not one friendship is made one day to another. But now we are starting with the outings, so it's going to be easier for them to connect.**

 **Would you mind telling me what did you think about the discussion with Patrick? I wouldn't really tolerate someone so fanatic haha, but that's just me.**

 **All belong to Jojo Moyes.**

* * *

The sun was still shining directly on us, but the day was losing his brightness. And every minute that passed bring a new tone of colour in the sky. I was lying in the grass looking the clouds passing by, and Will was beside me in his chair, that I reclined it so he could be more comfortable looking up. It has been a while since we say anything, we were just enjoying the afternoon. The peacefulness was coming to and end, sadly, and we needed to start making our way inside. I was dreading having to go to my home. I'm pretty sure everyone heard me screaming last night, and I am not in any sense, ready to explain my break up with Patrick, or confessing to my family the way he has made me feel for years. They would only confirm how stupid I am, and won't shy away from telling me the exact thing. How on earth I stand the way he treated me? How on earth I didn't say anything to them? How on earth I let him drag me wherever he wanted? and a lot more of the questions to come. Sometimes, having a family that worries so much about you could be overwhelming. It wasn't bad, exactly. But you don't have the chance to sulk in your own, and not be noticed. If you have on a sad face, a preoccupied face, an angered face, you don't go any longer than the breakfast table without interrogation. A person needs time to process information before talking about it. That's why today I woke up earlier and get out of the door without making any noise to avoid all that from happening. And to pass the time till I needed to be at work, I walked all the way to the annex, hoping it would improve my state of mind, but the only thing the long walk alone achieve, was to pull me down to the darkness of my thoughts. And it was thanks to Will that I managed to crawl out of there, but now that my time at the annexe was almost over, it started to pull me back again, like a hand was griping at my ankle, dragging me around the grass, gradually, toward that darkness.

'I think it's time to go back inside, Clark. I'm getting a little cold' Will had his eyes closed. I stared at him before answering with a simple 'Okay'.

I surveyed his strong features, partially hidden by his beard. And I didn't realise that Will's eyes were open. 'What? I certainly hope that my ability to not mess up my face with saliva is not gone yet' I was startled by his voice, I looked up, eyes open wide.

'Ah, no. That's not it. But you certainly lost the ability to control that beard.' He smiled to me and looked thoughtful for a while.

'Okay..'

'What? Okay, what?'

' Okay. I'll let you shave my beard. That way I make sure you don't sue me.'

My face brightened up, and once again, I was outside of the danger zone thanks to Will.

'Yes! Let's get inside, we got a lot of work to do in that face!' I said it while straightening the chair.

'Now?! I didn't mean right now, we could do it tomorrow, or another day of the week. Why are you in such a hurry? I'm not going to choke with a beard's hair, for god sakes!' I burst laughing when images of that riddiculous situation cross my mind. This was perfect, it seems like he was able to read my mind, and provided the excuse for me to stay without any embarassing begging from my side.

'Of course right now, I want to find out what you had been hiding in there. Maybe your kindness, we'll see'

'I would remember that you said that.' When he was sitting properly, we made our way inside, and I was practically running to the bathroom to find everything I needed, while yelling if he wanted something to drink. And I heard something that sound like ' I can't believe that removing dirty hair from a face cheer you up'

* * *

Wow, wow. I already thought he was handsome, but sometimes, lads with beards disappoint you once they are saved. This lad, however, did not disappoint at all. My eyes didn't lie to me when they think to have seen dimples. And.. oh god, that's the cutest mole I've ever seen in my entire life. Who can have a mole placed in a place so perfect? It's like his parents ordered it online or tattooed the thing there.

'You have a funny look on your face... You didn't shave my eyebrows, didn't you?'

'Only the one' He gifted me with a toothy smile, and..there were the dimples! I couldn't stop looking at him. What's wrong with you Lou?! He is your boss, stop staring at him like a dumb girl!

'So..what are you waiting for, a royal order? Are you going to do my hair too, or not?

It was after I went looking for scissors, that . I had the idea of staying until late, so the possibility of Will offering me to take the spare room could increase. I was really hoping for the kindness in him to come to the surface, but it was better that to go back home now. By the time we finished the haircut and dinner, I was losing hope. But I think that Nathan developed the ability to be just in perfect time whenever I needed him. I want to kiss him when I saw that he was drenched to the bone. I went for a towel and gave it to him.

'Thanks Lou, you don't have any idea the power of the storm going on out there'

' We heard a couple of thunder, but didn't notice that the sky was falling.'

'Nathan, why don't you go to the bathroom and change into something of mine? Clark, would you go to my bedroom and pick something?'

'Sure' 'Thanks mate' When I came back to the kitchen I didn't see Will where he was. Instead, he was looking out the window in the living.

'Hey, you need anything?' there was silence.

'You shouldn't leave tonight. It's not reasonable to be walking under this storm, or waiting the bus, for that matter. You could stay in the spare room.' I was dancing inside. Yes! Finally! I felt the pressure on my shoulders lighten.

'That's great! I was dreading going home!' Oh bloody hell, I couldn't keep it in. Will turn around with a raised eyebrow. 'I mean... with this storm. I didn't feel like getting soaked.'

Once again, Nathan saved the night. Coming to the living to get started on Will's routine. I was left to tidy up the kitchen, brush my teeth, and text Treena.  
 _Hey Treen, I'm staying here for the night. It's pouring._

 _Are you sure It's because of that? Or because of your yelling last night?_

 _Maybe you were dreaming, I didn't get out of bed last night._

 _Okay, I think it's more weird for me to dream about Patrick that you yelling at him, but, whatever you want. I let mum know._

That house was to small, everyone could hear anything that was being said anywhere! While thinking about moving out to the garden into a tent, I was surprised that passing by the door I could hear voices. This one wasn't small to be able to overhear everything, and I wish that the people talking would have taken the discussion far from the annex. I overheard a conversation that I wish I hadn't. I refused to believe it at first, but there was no mistake in what I heard. I was just a babysitter, keeping watch of the suicidal baby. That's wrong. And here I am, thinking that I was building a really nice friendship with Will. No, you are just a distraction for him, so his time passed faster, that's the only reason he's been nice to you. Just a little gear, in the middle of many other, to make this machine of lies keep working.

My eyes started to fill with tears and I had to run to the spare room so nobody could see my soul breaking. After sobbing for half an hour I heard a knocking on the door. I slowly stand up cleaning my mess up face of tears, saliva and I'm certain that a little.. well, a lot of snot there too. My eyes were blotchy and red, and Nathan was there with a face full of concern. 'It's nothing, I'm single since last night, so, I think it's sinking in just now.' I tried to lie the best I could, and was surprised when I was pulled into a giant hug. It was so long that I didn't have a proper hug, that I forgot what a powerful thing it is. 'Would you tell Will I'm sorry? He knows, so just let him know I can't function very well right now, but he can holler if he really needs anything.'

'Okay, I tell you the same. If you need anything, you can holler.' I gave him a grateful smile and hug him again. I wonder if he knows about Will's wish. Is he supporting that decision? Or he is trying not to think about it every time he sees him? I don't know what to think, so I just try to sleep, and it isn't that hard after my insomnia last night.

* * *

After another day of work where Will was talkative, and I was not. I realised I couldn't go on like this for another 4 months. So I left a letter to Mrs. Traynor in the annex, and went home. That's weird, now I actually want to be at home, god, where had I landed. It wasn't long after I arrived home, when an expensive looking car park in front of our door. It was Camilla, and I didn't find a place to hide fast enough. She asked me if it was because of the money, the lunch hours, why, why, why? So I let her know what I've heard. Her face became a mask, ask me to reconsider, and that didn't retell this conversation with nobody. She has faith that Will's decision change with time, that I cheer him up, and maybe he could be a happier man. She even said please, I couldn't help but look surprised.

I knew it was wrong, but I needed to tell someone, so after my sister was a bitch, and after I let her know how much I dislike the situation of the family under stress for a little money, so little Katrina could fulfil her bloody ambitions, she came back to my room with wine and I told her. We had downed two glasses just in the telling of it, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. 'I hate the thought of leaving him. But I can't be part of this, Treen. I can't.'

She was silent, thinking silently. And then came with a brilliant idea. Why didn't I, clumsy and kind of a get Louisa Clark, try to change the mind of the stubborn and sarcastic Will Traynor. It was great, my mind started to form plans of what to do, where to go, what tickets to buy. So this was the exact point where I started my research, I don't think I studied so hard since, never.

'Will needs to be allowed to feel like a man. That is not going to be possible if his mother – or his sister, for that matter – is always on hand.' With that, I have the green light to start on my plans.

First off, Will had already promised me he would go to a concert with me, so the first thing I did when I had a little free time was researching what tickets were on sale. I didn't find anything I actually like, or that think Will would enjoy neither. But the answer came one afternoon when I entered the living.

'Put some music on for me, Clark?'When the music started he said 'I have a friend who plays lead violin in the Albert Symphonia. This piece of music. Do you know it?'

'I don't know anything about classical music.'

'You've never been to a concert?'

'No.' He looked genuinely shocked.

'He's offered me tickets. This will be really good. You were going to force me to go to some concert, we should go to this one, at least my ears won't bleed.' Astonished, I didn't have to make any effort and we already arranged our first outing. I couldn't believe it! But my smile runs away from my face, and he noticed. 'What's the matter, where did your mind go?'

'It just... if we go to somewhere like that... everyone else would know...' My insecurities were winning again. Sometimes they pissed me off so badly! He's still looking at me expecting for me to finish my sentence. '..that I don't belong.'

'How do you think I feel?'

* * *

I was wearing my vintage red dress, I adore it. And it seems that Nathan and Will did too. 'Wow, Lou. Are you off to sing some jazz?' 'Believe me that the only place safe for her to sing, is the shower' I glared at him, but was surprised by the appreciative look he was giving me, looking me up and down, and I think he was a little insecure. 'You look great, Clark' I smiled and next thing I know, we are driving down the road to my first concert were in the first row, and it was the exact place that I didn't want to be, while trying to remove the tag of my boss's collar. But evidently, Will was having a little problem with the colour of his cheeks. He was blushing! I couldn't help teasing him. It was adorable!

'We should be grateful it wasn't in your pants.' He has transformed into a tomato, I just had to chuckle. He glared at me, realising I was teasing him, and his eyes become full of mischief in a matter of mere milliseconds. I didn't liked it.

'Maybe that wouldn't be so bad, we should make sure there isn't any tag down there when we get back home.' If his face was a tomato, mine was the sunset sun. Did I hear right? Jesus Christ! I'm pretty sure this side of Will has been hiding for a long time. I was glad he opened up to me and let me see a glimpse of old Will. My response was interrupted by the orchestra. And with the first note, I was transported to another world, one that was only mine. And I didn't want this sensation to end, never. So I flew away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello! sorry for the delay. This one is all Will and Lou. I hope you like it. It would be nice to know what you think of this story so far, a couple of people liked it, and its great to know they are enjoying this. Thank you so much to the ones that leave a review! See you next chapter!  
**

* * *

I was standing in the bathroom looking at the mirror and commanding my face to go down a few shades of red. In my hand I held a sponge, and the other was filling a recipient with warm water. After the concert, we made our way to the annex and we both remembered I needed to start with his nightly routine. Today Nathan was supposed to give him a bed bath, or a proper bath, I don't know, but because of the late hour we arrived, I compromised to stay and do it on my own, but now that the moment has come, I was regretting saying anything. I walked towards the bed slowly and looking down, and let everything I need in the nightstand. Setting my gaze in Will's face, I noticed that he was breathing a little fast, his eyes were closed and since hearing me enter, he starts to redden. 'Will, we needed to start, if we don't the water it's going to get cold' the air thickened, he takes a deep breath and then sighed slowly. ' Go on, '

I started by removing a sleeve, then stopped to think how I could proceed, and an image of me changing a sleeping Thomas came to the front of my mind. I needed to sit him up, it would be easier than rolling him from one side to the other constantly. I put my arms around his shoulders sitting him up against me, letting his head rest on my shoulder. I could feel him inhaling deeply and moving his nose a little closer to my neck, it gave me goosebumps. I moved slower, taking off his shirt. When I went to lay him down again, I let my hand rest in the back of his neck, and push him back with my body. He opened his eyes and they connected with mine, an incredibly perfect mix between green and grey. My eyes travelled downwards and study his torso, he was lean, and you could notice that once he had an incredible athletic body. I reached for the sponge, squeeze it, and look into his eyes again. We didn't need to talk to understand each other anymore, so I started tracing his neck, moving to the shoulders, and watched him following the path of my hand with his gaze. It was harder than I thought, staying focused on the chore at hand, and not in the way his skin felt under my hands, or the way his jaw tightened when I passed certain sectors with higher sensibility, or the way he looked so vulnerable and he trusts me enough to let me see him like this. It hit me then what a big improvement it was in our friendship, He didn't even wear short sleeves in the annex, this was a huge step!

I was enjoying this way too much for my own good, so I finished a little faster with his torso, but it seems it wasn't in my power the capacity to not focus on his arms. Precisely his hands, I took them in mine, and started massaging his wrist, and travelling to his fingers making small circles with my thumbs. Each finger I pay attention, stretching them and helping them to perform movements they won't be able to do on their own.'thank you, that feels good' I almost miss it, he spoke so low that it made me think I was imagining things. But when I looked at him, he had his eyes half closed, a barely there smile, and a face full of calmness.

'Will...I need to go down.' immediately after saying it, I notice the connotation that sentence had. My face flushed crimson red and tried to explain, but he just raise both eyebrows and start laughing. 'sorry..' I don't think he heard me over his laughter. ' Okay, that's enough, come on.'

'I'll try, your face was hilarious.'

'Ha ha. Okay...it's safe to assume that you have underwear?'

'Why on earth would I not have underwear on?'

'I ...really don't know, but I was just making sure, you know.'

'It's safe Clark, and make sure I don't have any tag down there' Okay, how was I supposed to work with a straight face, when he is making that kind of comments? I glared at him but the only thing it achieve was making his smile bigger, if it was even possible.

I make a quick work on his legs, because even if he was making jokes, I could notice he was a little uncomfortable. Once it was done and Will was in bed with his pyjamas, I went to the bathroom to put away everything. 'I better get going, it's late'

'Why don't you stay? You need to be here in the morning anyway.' It makes sense, I save two trips. But then I looked down at my dress.

'You can take some clothes of mine, even if you look great in that dress, it can't be comfortable to sleep in.' Once again the introvert Will appears.

'Thanks, would you like something to drink? I'll go change to the bathroom, so..' While saying this I grabbed some jogging bottoms and a green t-shirt.

'It would be nice to have some tea, maybe we could watch a movie, what do you think? Its not too late?'

'No..I don't think so. I'll be right back!' I didn't want to enter his bedroom again, I looked ridiculous! The tea was getting cold..so I really have no options. I walked in slowly, looking down to the tray.

'You look ridiculous.' he snorted while I watched him with my mouth hanging open.

'How dare you?! It's your clothes! So you are the ridiculous here!'

'But in me they don't look like they could acommodate three Wills inside them.' It was true, but they were comfortable clothes anyway.

'Well...are we going to watch a movie or what?

* * *

When I open my eyes all I didn't know exactly where I was. And just as this thought entered my mind, I felt a sigh over my face. And I knew exactly where I was, lying down with my head resting on Will's shoulder, with my hand in his chest, my nose touching his neck and his breathing caressing cheek. Oh god! How I let myself end like this?! Did I even finished watching the film? Mmhm I was so, so comfortable. I didn't want to move... Is Will awake? Did he try to wake me to go away and couldn't? Did I overstep the boundaries of boss-employee? I didn't know if I should pretend to still be asleep or going to the other room as quick as I could, but before I could decide...

'Clark... Clark... Hey Lou, are you awake?' He spoke so lowly, like he was trying not to wake me if I wasn't already. 'I like when you call me Lou' I whispered 'And yep, I am... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you'

'It doesn't bother me.'

'What did you need? I'm hurting you?'

' I don't think that a woman lying by my side could ever hurt me.' He turned his head to smile at me and I disjoined myself of that warm place I was to sit and look at him. 'Wel, that's not true...but not when it's you.' He chuckled.

I felt flattered, 'How could you know I won't hurt you? Maybe I'm an evil person.'

'Believe me, I always tell the truth when I'm half asleep. And you can't hide anything you are feeling, so if your intentions are hurting me, I would know.'

'You don't have idea waht i'm capable of hiding...' It escaped from my mouth, and I know he heard me, but he didn't say anything, he was trying to figure it out. 'Why were you calling me?'

'What? ah..mmh just..would you mind turning off the lamps and DVD?' I looked to the black screen and wondered..

'How long have I been aspleep?' Outside it was still dark.

'Halfway through the movie, but don't know how long, I fell asleep as well.'

'I think we don't belong to the "Night birds" club' I was sleepy, so I got up to turn off th lights. 'Are you comfortable? He nods, so I started to make my way out, but stop when I heard a mumbled curse. '

Wait. The spare room is not even prepared for you to sleep, why... why don't you just, maybe you could just stay here. I don't mind' I turned to look at him, he was so flushed, it didn't surprise me, he was asking for me to stay in his bed, even if didn't mean anything, It was a strange territory, a new territory we were entering. My heart started beating faster, my hands were sweating, and my mind going in a million different ways. And the only way I find to controlling all this was by diffusing my tension joking. ' You know, this could easily enter the category of Workplace Harassment.' My smile was telling him it was okay, and his own tension vanished.

'That actually depends on you, because I can`t properly harass anything in my state.'

' You can, just think about my first weeks here, that certainly was what harassment is.' We laugh together, we have come a long way from there. I like this one better.

'Oh really? I'm sorry. For being such a wanker. I just thought you would be gone in a few days, like the rest. I didn`t plan on befriend you.' Oh god! I said that aloud! What's wrong with me? He didn't seem to mind, so I let it pass.

'You were a wanker, but now you're getting better' When I get into the bed, I stayed on my side, what happened earlier it wasn`t on purpose. I did like it, but maybe it was because all the nights events were surrounded by a romantic atmosphere, and it leads us there. But now that spell was broken, I didn't dare to climb next to him and rest my head on his chest, even if I wanted. 'Nigth...wanker.'

'Night..insufferable chatty' We both fell asleep smiling.

* * *

Knok knok knok 'Will? Are you awake?' silence. And again knocking.

I heared more noises and someone calling for Will. Why would they be calling for Will in my room? What's wrong with my mom? And then I remembered exactly where I was, whose chest my hand was resting on, whose hair was tickling my face, whose skin I was feeling touching mine, and whose mother was calling Wills name. Oh bloody hell, what is she going to think about me? Sleeping here with her son, and in his clothes!

I started shaking Wills shoulder and whispering to him to wake up. 'MMMhgg whats wrong? why...what time is it?' The knocking started again.

'That's your mother! Why i'm supposed to tell her when she enters?'

'Good morning, first of all. And I'm a big boy, I think I have permisson to have a lady in my bed. Don't you think?'

'But she's your mother! And she don't even like me, now she'll like me even less.' He huffed.

'Don't be ridiculous. Yes mother, come in!' My eyes widened and he grinned at me. Just as I turned around and pretend to be asleep Mrs Traynor make her way inside.

'Good Mor...What is this Will?'

'A woman sleeping, so please speak quietly.' I could swear I could feel the sharp look I was receiving, making my skin crawl.

'Why is she here? This is highly inappropriate!'

'Calm down mother. This is just two friends that fell asleep while watching a movie. Nothing more, you were the one that insist I should make a normal life. Well, Clark here has brought normal to my life again, she is the first friend I have since the accident. In fact, the first true friend I've ever had, she see me, not a cripple, not poor Will with his bad luck, just me. Please respect that.' I had tears in my eyes, he really consider me a friend, and I was so glad. I reached for his hand under the covers and took his hand in mine and squeeze. I felt his grip tightening a bit while he ask his mother to wait outside until Nathan arrived.

'You are safe now, my mother won't bite you' his tone held amusment, a lot more that I've ever heard from him in the morning. I turned again, and looked into his eyes.

'You really consider me your friend?' my voice was barely a whisper. Will took a deep breath and nod.

'I think you are the first person that can stand me for who I really am. With my mood changes, my dark humor, my sarcastic way of speaking...you even stand when I was a wanker to you, that's a great deal.' He chuckled and take his eyes away from mine. 'Even before all this happened, the people was beside me for my money, my adventures or some bullshit like that, but they never really cared enough to try and make me feel better, or even to argue with me about anything. They just told me Yes like I was a bloody crazy person.' I had to laugh at that.

'It's okay, sometimes I think you are crazy too' We started laughing out loud till there was tears in our eyes. 'I think you are my first true friend too. I can't even think about anyone who doesn't look at me like I'm stupid and can't do anything right. Maybe I'm a bit stupid, but you don't need to know that.' He gifted me with a pair of dimples and eyes shiny with amusement. 'Hey would you like to come to my birthday dinner tonight? The only people there is always my family, it would be nice having a change of scenery'

'Today is your birthday? It wasn't the eleven?' He looked mortified that he had forgot.

'No, yes. Actually today it's ten, but my mom was anxius to give me my present so she told me to celebrate tonight instead of tomorrow'

'She sounds just like you. Yes, I would love to go. We should go to buy something so I don't go with my hands empty, a wine or something.'

'That's sound like a plan' We heard noises outside the door and Nathan was calling for Will, so I get out of bed and opened the door. He looked at me with a crooked smile and left me standing there, comfronting Mrs Traynor. Thank god she apparently listen to Will and didn't make one single comment about the indecency of the situation.

What we didn't know was that tonight was going to bring both of us a big birthday surprise.


	7. Chapter 7

**This one is a little longer, I hope you like it. Its dinner night! Let me know what you think! And thanks to you all for following the story, make it one of your favorites and for reviewing! Its good to know you are there waiting to read a little more. Till next chap!**

 **It all belongs to Jojo Moyes, of course.**

* * *

I found a parking spot in front of my door. I suspect it was due to my father telling the neighbors we were having a dinner party and asking them to change the spot for a little leftover of mom's food. Everybody in the block knew she was an amazing cook. My dad told me he has set up a ramp for Will, so the only thing to do was get down of the car and enter the house to an overexcited mother and a father full of jokes at my expence.

Once the introductions were done, I saw she was standing in the kitchen door, rigid with anxiety. I felt a sudden wave of sympathy for her. It couldn't be easy being my mother.

'Really. It will be fine.' She let go of me, kissed the top of my head, and brushed her hands down her apron.

'I wish your sister was here. It seems wrong to have a celebration without her.'

Not to me it didn't. Just for once, I was quite enjoying being the focus of attention. It might sound childish, but it was true. And just as I turned to look to Will and Dad, I heard the front door open. And the cry of joy of Thom when he saw me. I was glad that he was here, but that means my sister too. I couldn't have one chance, not once.

'Happy birthday aunty Lou! I have a present for you!' My smile for him wasn't forced, and the drawing that he gave me was incredibly adorable. It was of me cooking, I suppose, because I have a spoon or some culinary tool in my hand and who I suspect to be Will standing next to me holding a present with a bow and everything. 'That's you and your new friend Bill making dinner and celebrating for your birthday.' How I love this boy.

'It's a fantastic drawing Thomi! Thank you so much, I'm going to hang it on my bedroom. Come here' I gave him a hug and then take him to met Will. 'He is me new friend, but his name is Will not Bill.'

'Hello mr Will, look what I draw' He placed the drawing in front of him and looked up expectantly.

'Hello mr Thomas, you are an exelent artist, that's exactly how we look, don't you think, Clark?' He had a crooked smile and I couldn't believe that he was this nice with children. Maybe it was an exeption because he is my nephew, but it don't seem like thats the case.

'Yes! It's like a photograph!' Thom smiled at both of us and went running to tell his mother the news. His mother, uuugh.

'Hello, I'm Treena, Lou's sister. It's a pleasure to meet you.' I rolled my eyes and exit the room to ask my mother what was she doing here. She was studying and she wasn't due to come home until the weekend. She said it was a surprise, and that she didn't even knew she was coming.

'Hey lou, happy birthday.' She said entering the kitchen.

'It's tomorrow. My birthday. Aren't you supposed to be studying?'

'Yes, but I could accomodate a few clases to come home for a long weekend'

'Girls, I need your help, Trenna take this to the table, and you Lou, go and drink something with Will. You need to be a good host.' Treena looked annoyed to be helping with the party, but I wasn't surprised. I went to Will and he was chatting with Thom again and my father was chuckling beside them.

'So this chair can fly? You could go anywere super fast! It start working when you push that buttom?'

'No it can't fly, but its like a compact car, and sometimes I go shopping driving through the streets faster than the cars!' Thom has his eyes wider than platters. Will looked at me and winked.

'I'm going to leave this in my bedroom, I'll be right back.' When I was going up the stairs I heard the knocking on the door and dad telling 'I get it'. I entered the room that once was Treena and Thom's and went towards the desk.

'Would you jump in my grave so quickly?' I was startled by the sound of my sweet sister's voice. The moment I turned I could see the fury on her face. Come on, she can't control herself even in my birthday.

'What are you talking about?'

'Where are me and Thomas supposed to go at weekends? We can't both fit in the box room. There's not even enough room in there for two beds.'

'And even after saying that you seem to think it's fair for me to sleep in that cardboard box for over 5 years now. It's outrageous, god forbid Lady Katrina to not be able to stretch her legs in her room!'

'You can't take my room. It's not fair.'

'It's not your room anymore, you don't even live here! You come back on weekends, why it is so hard for you to be a little less selfish!'

'But I need it! Me and Thomas need a place to sleep when we visit!'

'You will have the box room, you'll be here only two days! Don't be such an insufferable immature baby.'

'Now I'm being immature? Look who's speaking, aren't you a little old to still live with your parents?'

'You move away less than a month ago, what are you talking about? It's not like you are so much younger.'

'I don't believe you. No wonder you were so keen to help me leave.'

'What? So you begging me to keep my job so that I can help you out financially is now part of my sinister plan, is it?'

'You're _so_ two-faced. You are just jealous that I'm actually doing something with my life. You just wants to make it difficult for me to come home again.'

'Why would it be difficult? I need a bedroom, not a cupboard. I'm not Harry Potter yet, and if I were, in this moment I would make you disappear for annoying me so much!' I was furious, trembling with rage, and I couldn't contain my next words.'And you've had the best room the whole time, just because you were dumb enough to get yourself up the duff.'

'Yes, well, if you weren't so thick that you can't even get a proper job, you could have got your own bloody place. Or what's the matter? You've finally figured out that Patrick is never going to ask you?' Thats it. I listen enough, so now was when the true would come out.

'I'M NOT EVEN WITH PATRICK ANYMORE! WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND LET ME ALONE? STOP BEING AN INSOLENT BRAT AND FOCUS ON CLOSING YOUR LEGS SO I DON'T HAVE TO GET ANOTHER JOB TO PAY FOR YOUR MISTAKES WHEN YOU ARE CONCENTRATED IN STUDYING AND SELLING FLOWERS!' She was standing still with her mouth hanging open and wide eyes, so I use the advantage of her shock to leave the room. That was a mistake, a huge one. Because when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to find my parents also in shock, my mom with tears in her eyes, my father with anger in his, in Wills there was concern and in Patricks there wa...PATRICK! What was he doing here?! The last thing I wanted was to see him!

'For the love of crap, what are you doing here Patrick?!' It seems that nobody in the room had ever listened to me cursing. It felt good to let all out for once. 'Didn't you understand what I told you the other night? Why would you come tonight?'

'Your mom invite me' I almost don't hear him, he was speaking so low and looking down. He looked ridiculous and it was such an absurd excuse that all I could do was laugh. If they were shocked of how I was behaving, now they didn't seem to know me anymore. 'Mom, Patrick and I are not a couple anymore, so please don't include him in everything anymore.'

'What happened dear?' 'Did he hurt you?' Mom and Dad looked to each other and then to me.

'No, he didn't. But it wasn't working anymore. It's between Patrick and I. Just acept that, and you can go back home now, you already saw a show tonight.' Patrick looked up, and then to Will.

'He was the one you been spending all day with? I don't see how that's a boss-employee relationship.' Okay, I need to inhale, exhale, inhale...It's your birthday dinner, finish this and go eat until your stomach explodes.

'Really? You want to talk right now?' He nod, and he wasn't going to leave till I explain or hurt him with my words. 'Okay. He is the man I've been spending all day with. He is my friend, and in the short period of time I've known him, he paid me more attention than you in years. So be a man and acept that you neglected me and we can put an end to this conversation now. I want to eat.' I noticed that Will was trying to hide his grin by looking down. And Patrick was looking between us with a glare.

'You don't have anything to say? You ruined my relationship.' The grin droped of his face and look Patrick with a judgemental glare.

'Actually I have. Your former partner is the most fascinating person I've ever met. And I think you are going to regret that you didn't appreciate her when you should have.'

'Will is right, isn't he Bernard?'

'Yes, he is, now Patrick, please we need some other things to discuss.' He turned away from us and started making his way towards the door. But before he exited, Will talked again.

'And you should know that she certainly gives a good bed bath.' My dad snorted, I was apple red and Patrick was like a bull. He stormed off and slammed the door. My mom gave me a hug and told me she was sorry for what I was going through.

'What happend with your sister? We heard the shouts and everything.'

'So then you don't need me to tell you. She is being selfish like always.'

'You girls need to understand each other better, it's not okay to fight like that' I rolled my eyes and looked to Will and he gave me an encouraging smile. 'We better start dinner.' My mother, she didn't need more stress than she already was in by inviting some lad to our house. I'm almost sure that she imagine every person that enters the house is a cleaning inspector.

* * *

My sister joined us in the table halfway through dinner and the mood changed notably to awkward. When the time for presents came, we were all sitting in the couches around the coffee table.

'Go on, open it' Said Dad. He and mom looked nervous. When I opened it, I found an icredible beautiful photograph album. She told me about granddad seeing something about making your own presents and how she wanted to mean something.

It does, Mum.' My eyes had filled with tears. 'I love it. Thank you.'

'Can I see?' Asked Will. I sit next to him, in the arm of the couch and leaned closer to him to start flipping though the pages Our faces were almost touching, and when we were looking a particular picture of me in Mauritius, I heard Will whispering 'It's beautiful' and then he looked at me. We were so close, in that moment I had the urge to kiss him.

'Well, I think we should eat pudding now,' Dad said. 'Before it gets too hot.' He laughed out loud at his own joke.

We broke the eye contact and I leaned back to put some distance. Mom was inspectin Wills face, and I realised that everyone witnessed the moment.

'There's something in my bag for you too,' Will said, quietly.

My mother paused, the serving spoon in her hand. 'You got Lou a present, Will? That's ever so kind of you. Isn't that kind of him, Bernard?'

'It certainly is.'

'Oh my God! Where did you get these?' My face was about to split in two because of my smile. 'I can't believe it!' I think he just gave me the best gift I've ever recieved.

'I had them made' He said with a stunning smile. ' But I couldn't find the wellies' the mischief in his eyes was contagious. And I couldn't or wanted to contain myself, launched myself to him and ebraced him while my eyes filled with tears.

'Thank you so much' I whispered next to his ear.'You don't have idea how much this mean to me, I love them' He chuckled softly and put his hand in my waist, it made me smile even wider, if it was even possible.

'I could tell. I'm glad you like it' I didn't wanted to let go.' I don't mind, but I think your dad is not very confortable with you all sprawled on me.' How on earth I end up in his lap without noticing? I scrambled up quickly to my feet and excused myself to go and put the tights on.

* * *

My birthday dinner was on Thursday, and by midnight on Sunday I was lying in bed looking to the photo album after trying for hours to fall asleep. I made my way downstairs to drink a glass of water, but a noise coming from the living room made me stop to listen. I turned around and looked inside and to my surprise, there they were, both of my parents sleeping in a imitation of a bed arranged with the sofa cushions. I didn't believe my eyes, what was happening?

'Why on earth are you down here?' I asked incredulous.

'We fancied a change.' It sound more like a question than an answer.

'What?'

'We've given Treena our bed. They weren't sleeping well in the box room' Dad said. He looked like he haven't slept in weeks.

'Are you seriuos? She really accept that? I've slept five years in that room, how it's possible for her to have problems in two nights? This is not fair!' If I had trouble sleeping before, this was it for my trying to not look like a zombie tomorrow in work.

'We're fine, love. You need your sleep, you are the only one working after all.' He looked ashamed of himself, and I went and gave him a hug.

'It's going to be fine, you'll find something'

'Go on Lou, we're fine' Mom was trying to save Dad of his emotional situation. So I made it easier on him and went to bed, to turn around until morning. Although I was awake, I somehow managed to be late at the annex.

In my way there I recieve a text from Nathan, asking if everything was allright, that Will wanted to know. Not long ago, we had a technician install a voice recognition software in Will's computer. So now he could send emails, search the web and even sent text to our phones. It seems that he wasn't ready to be in his chair talking to a screen. He hasn't send me a text yet, since this new development, and now I'm wondering if he even have my number.

I texted back and told Nathan to put the kettle on, I was just a few blocks away. The moment I entered the kitchen, I was bombarded with questions about what I do on my weekends to always look so bad on Monday mornings. They started to joke, guessing what tipe of nocturnal life I lead.

'Actually, my weekend was spent listening to my sister complaining, a lot of time inside my room, and to put an interesting end to all that, this early morning I went down to have a drink, and found that my parents are sleeping in the bloody floor, becuse they gave their bed to my sister the bloody Princess, who apparently can't stand to sleep in a room that isn't big enough to contain her giant selfishness.!' God, how I needed to take it all out. It felt good. Both of them were still looking at me, in shock after the mood changing monologue.

'Isn't your sister in a campus or something?' Nathan didn't have the update of the Thurday night.

'That's why this is worse! She'll be coming on weekends only! I know her, she isn't going to stop until I leave the room and move back to that claustrophobic room! Sometimes I really want to smack her over the head!' I prepared the tea, and notice that Will hadn't said anything yet.

'Are you alright ?' He exited the trance he was in, and nod.

'Why don't you move out?' He asked the question as if he were talking about the weather. I frowned upset.

'For some people moving out it's not so easy. All the money I make here it goes for my family. My dad lost his job after all.'

'I know what you do with the money, but nothing is impossible, there are always options'

'Yes, like murder my sister' He smiled at that and Nath laughed with the toast he was eating still in his mouth.

'You can move in here with me, I have a spare room after all, and its closer to work.' I was petrified, did I heard right? He was offering me a place here? It was too much, but, were are friends now. Isn't that what friends do? Help each other?

'Wha...Are you for real? I swear if you are jokin right now, I'll put something in your food.' He chuckled and his eyes started shining a little more.

'Of course it's a joke!' He started laughing but stoped immediatly when my face fell. It felt like I was a waxdoll entering an oven. How could he joke with something like that? But of course, I was foolish to think he would want me to spend all day here. We were friends, but not such good friends, it seems. When he saw my face he started getting closer, but I steped away. He leveled the chair to be face to face with me and told me to stop.

'Do you really believe I would joke with something like that? I'm your friend Lou, I know what are you going through.' He looked disappointed with himself for making me feel so bad. He was trying to make it better,so I let him. ' Listen, I know this would be difficult sometimes, but we should try. This...this is hard to admit, but...it would be nice having someone around that isn't here just to tend my necessities..it gets lonely.' He was directing his gaze at me, but to the floor, his face was redder than ever, and he was fidgeting with his better hand while biting his lower lip. In one word, he looked adorable. I notices Nathan watching us, and he gave me an encouraging smile and thumbs up, and then went to the living.

'Will, look at me...'He did, so I went on' Are you sure? This is your home, you know I can't afford renting the room. It would make me feel like I'm abusing you.'

'Don't be riddiculous, I'm asking you to move in, so don't start with that. I would really enjoy your company 24/7 Clark, well, maybe not 24 everyday, you can talk a lot, a man need his silence' I slapped his shoulder playfully and smiled.

'So...would you be my guest..indeterminately?' his hopeful eyes convince me.

'I would love to'

' A


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey how's it going? Another one here. My niece's birthday is this Monday and i'm stuck makig fishes, seaweed and a cool Dory cake, so maybe the next one won't be up onTuesday. Let me know what you like and not about this one. Good week to all of you!**

* * *

What do you mean you are moving out?! Are you serius?!' My mother. She had already ask me that like one hundred times in the half hour we have been talking.

'Yes. It's time for me to go. We have been living in a stressful situation for the last couple of weeks. I'm going to be alright, don't worry' I haven't said where I was moving to. But they hadn't asked yet. I was afraid that they would disapproved. 'I won't be far from here, I'll come almost every day, and about the money don't worry, I'll be giving it to you, no matter what.'

'And how are you supposed to live in another place without paying rent? Do you know were you live, Lou?' I looked at her offended.

'Of course I know, Mother. In this particular place, I wont't be paying any rent. Don't worry.'

'Where? At least tell us this, you are going to move out, but you haven't said where you are going to live.' Dad had a no nonsense kind of face in that moment.

'At Will's' Those words were whispered out of my mouth, praying they didn't heard them.

'Your boss? You are moving in with your boss? What kind of joke are you making?'

It's not a joke, dad. It just kind of happened. He knows that things at home aren't the best. He heard the same as you did in my birthday. So he thought about offering the spare bedroom to me.'

'Are you insane? How are you going to move to your boss's house? It's the Traynor House Lou, they won't accept that'

'It's Will's house. The annex isn't inside the Traynor's really. It is next to it, but not in it. So they shouldn't bother. That's what Will said. And.. he said to me to tell you...' I was turning red, I didn't want to tell my parents this, but he obliged me. They were expecting me to go on. 'He said that you don't have to worry about the living arrangements. Because even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able do anything physical to me.' When I notice my mom turning redder than I, was the moment I realised how that sounded. So I hurriedly add. 'Like murdering me or...beating me around' Both had a relieved expresion when I clarified what I meant. But I think Will had planed to make his words have a double meaning. I needed to make him pay for that little prank.

'I still don't think this is a good idea, this is your home, where your family is.'

'I already say yes. And this always is going to be my home, but in this moment, our lifes are going to be easier if I don't have to fight with my sister every weekend or seeing you both sleeping down here like a couple of dogs. It's not fair for you and I can change that situation.' Mom started to cry and she enveloped me in a hug.

'You are so selfless, thank you for all you do for this family. We raised her good, didn't we Bernard?' Now it was dad's turn to hug me, and I tried to pretend that I hadn't seen those tears.

'Yes we certainly did. I love you Lou, you are an amazing daughter.' This was so strange, my parents did tell us they love us and they demostrate affection. But now it was multiplied by fifty. They really had a tough life, and I felt even more grateful to Will for giving us this break.

* * *

'So...this came.' His gaze shifted towards an envelope resting on the table.

'She's got some nerve,' I observed, studying the gilt lettering, the gold-edged piece of thick card af the wedding invitation. 'Want me to throw it?'

'Whatever you want.' He looked a little off. I just left it on the kitchen and started making lunch.

We spend the day alternating between inside and the garden, talking about Will's travels. It was something amazing to listen. His face filled with calmness, like he was living it once again every time he talked about it. And the way he spoke, with such a passion, that he was awakening my own wanderlust after a long time of being hibernating.

'And you could do a glacier hike, it was so...pure' He had his eyes closed.

'Wow' I was smiling, and not just because of the tale, but this new sensation I was feeling. He looked over to me and raised an eyebrow.

'Your face has changed. It's not the same of a few minutes ago, do you like glaciers so much? I have photographs if you want ...'

'It's not the glaciers, well, you could say it form part of it.' I had the feeling that he needed for me to go on and explain better. 'You telling me about all your trips, it has made me remember the plans I once had. Just after I finished school.'

'Would you like to share those plans with me?' the smile on his face was small but it had decided to widened with every word that left my mouth'

'When I was a couple of months away of finishing high school, I recieve a letter saying they had accepted me the uni. I was planning on studying fashion' With that I raised my shoes for him to appreciate them in detail. ' After studying, and while I was doing it, my ideal was to make little trips around England, or Ireland or France. I don't know, wherever I feel like it. And now I noticed how fast time goes away and how many things remain pending of completion.' We stayed in silence for a few minutes.

'Why did you have this Lou in hiding? I feel like i'm talking to a different person.'

'It's because untill just now, with your anecdotes, I hadn't find out there still was a little of the old me deep down, I can't believe it, I thought I had buried her.'

'There's always something that remains of the dead, no matter how long ago they left' And such a true that was. Even the things you want to or need to keep buried, manage to resurface somehow.

'It is weird, feeling like this. Like I need to be away of this same streets, at least for a few days. It has been five years of not wanting to step a foot out of the town, and now...' He looked pensive and started moving forward, after a while he spoke.

'So, Clark. At least there is somewhere we can go right now. What about the maze? Do you want to try to defeat me?'

'No.' It came out more quickly than I would have liked, and I caught the look Will gave me.

'You claustrophobic?'

'Something like that.' I began to pick up the pace. 'Let's just go back to the house.' When we reached the annex Will wheeled himself off and disappeard into the kitchen.

'Would you like some tea?' the question was an odd one coming from him. But I went to put the kettle on without uttering a word. 'Are you okay? You haven't made a sound for ten minutes. Wich is abosolutely weird.' I'm not smart enough to comprehend how he achieve to make me smile even when I was being pouty or in a bad mood.

'I'm fine'

'Yes. and I've been joking all this time about the quadriplegia because I like your sponge baths.' I turned around with my mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe he said that, not the joke about his state, of that I was used. But admiting he like me touching him was huge.

'Oh yes? So I should expect that Nathan for some case of "urgency" won't be attending a few sessions?' His face was totally serious.

'Mmh maybe with some space between them so you don't suspect anything. Besides, I don't think you would be able to contain yourself if you do it so often.' Now he started to smile, but with his eyes.

'Oh god' I wasn't looking at him anymore, I could feel even my toes turning a deep shade of red. The worst part was that he wasn't wrong. I absolutely adore the first time I take care of him. It was a little akward at first, but then the only thing I wanted to do was give him comfort by massaging his hands and arms. It seems that he has enjoyed it too.

'Oh I now recognized that smell outside, some kind of vanity-sh scent. Maybe a new flower' He started to laugh lookng at my exaggerated mimics. But I started to laugh too, and we were both crying, only stoping when we heard the kettle whistling.

'So, when do you plan on moving in?' It was good he asked, because it felt a little awkward bringing it up myself.

'I was going to check with you, I was tinking maybe Thursday, that way I don't have to deal with my sister.'

'That's perfect. Do you need the car I assumed, so maybe if you want I could go with you and talk with your parents over a cup, so they can be sure I'm not some kind of creep. After all, they only saw me once.' ...'And I'm good at lying'

'I think they'd love that, thank you, for all of this.' I didn't know how to express my gratitude in another wasn't enough saying thank you.

'It's okay. I'm only doing this so I can have breakfast in bed every day'

* * *

 _I miss you. P xx_

 _Do you still have the same job? I hope you are doing good? P xx_

 _I'd like to see your crazy clothes from a shorter distace. Pxx_

 _I saw you the other day eating lunch with you new friend. Would you go with me to the same place? Pxx_

 _Come on Lou, answer at least one text, we've been together for seven years, don't be such bitch. P_

'Okay, thats enough' I put down my phone and noticed Will and Nathan both watching me. I had spoken out loud, it seems. We were having dinner together again, we where sharing ale, and having a fun time. But the last hour this texts had been entering my phone, and each time my mood dampened. Of course they noticed, with the last text I have placed it not so gently on the table.

'What's the problem? I'm good at digging graves?' Nat was something else. Always making overprotective comments.

'I don't know really, I was very clear with him about the reason I didn't want to be together anymore. But... apparently he is drunk and started sending me messages.' They both looked angry in an instant. It warmed my heart.

'It seems he has been stalking me, watching me from a safe distance. The other day when we eat lunch? He saw us and want to meet there.'

'What a bloody creep! Did his brain overheated while running?' Will hadn't said anything but I swear I saw the line of anger rising to his ears with every word that leaved my mouth.

'Maybe...but the cute ex ended the moment I didn't answer and then started the sorehead one. Don't know how he pretend to gain me back calling me a bitch, but let him talk.' That was the breaking point for Will.

'Who the fuck does he think he is?! I bet the tosser thinks so much of himself.' He seemed to be pondering over something.

'He is just drunk, I bet. Maybe after this one he won't contact me anymore.'

'It's not okay. Would you mind if I lied for you?' I considered this and shake my head, what could it hurt? 'I know maybe this would seem little much for you, but some people usually need a bucket of cold water to stop and catch the message. Write this..."hey man, it's Will. Regrettably for you Lou is sleeping next to me and is too tired to even listen the phone. Crazy night (add a winking face there)' I was flushing and Nathan was about to die of lack of oxigen if he didn't stop laughing. 'Keep going..."Oh and if you insult her once more, this chair won't prevent me from making you regrett saying it.' I looked up from the screen and Will wasn't watching me but his ale. I gave him some, press send and thanked him.

'Well, that's fixed. Will told me about the Thursday. Do you want for me to come over and help unpack?'

'I don't think I have much. But you should come with something sweet and make tea to celebrate.' My mood was back, all thanks to this two. Particulary one good friend.

'Hey mate, how did Mrs T reacted?' Oh thank you! I was so anxious to know.

'She certainly would be surprised Friday morning' This can't be good.

'You didn't tell her?! She's your mother, I think she deserves to approve this at least!'

'What needs my approval?' Camilla was one step inside the annex with Mr Traynor right behind. My intuition told me this wasn't going to end all that well.


	9. Chapter 9

**Happy new year! and sooooorry for leave this fic for so long! I hope you like this one. I won't make you wait so long haha**

 **All belongs to Jojo, and thanks for her !**

* * *

I'd started to panic. I could tell by the face Mrs Traynor was making, that she didn't like to be left out, specially when it concerned her. The silence could be cut with a piece of paper. Here we come, in moments, i would probably lose my job because she is going to think i'm taking advantage of her son, that i'm manipulating him somehow. I really need the floor to open and swallow me up.

'So...what is the important thing I need to approve?' Will looked at me, trying to tell me to calm down only with his eyes.

'Louisa here needs a place to stay because of family problems. So she will be staying here, in the spare room.' Wow, that was direct to the point. I was trying to hide behind Nat, so the disapproval glance couldn't reach me.

'Oh...that's so..considerate of you, Will.' Mr. Traynor said it, surprising everyone, and Camila wouldn't dare going against his husband in front of us. Well, not all the way at least.

'Yes, so generous. It would have been nice of you to tell me beforehand.' Of course, here it comes. She was sweetening us before she dropped the bomb. 'But of course, if she needs someplace to stay, it's only logical that she stays here.' WHAT? Did she just accept me sleeping next to his son? WOOOW Well...not next to him, that was just an amazing night. Stop it Louisa, you can't think like that when you are about to move in, you won't last one week otherwise!

'Thank you so much for understanding. I will look for someplace else to move, but right now it's the best option, thanks to Will..aah and both of you, I'll not kill my sister' Steven chuckled but I think that Camilla was thinking about all this situation being weird.

'Of course darling, this is Will home either way, you don't need to thank us for nothing.'

'So..why did you come here for Mom, Dad?'

'We where hoping that you would like to join us for dinner. But it seems that we are late.' She looked dissapointed. So I tried to remedy that.

'I would love to cook dinner for you tomorrow. You don't have to worry.' The moment those words left my mouth, Will glared at me, Steven smiled, and Camilla looked surprised.

'I...I don't think that's necessary, it's to much work. Thank you, but...'

'It's not a problem, really. I don't mind.'

'Thank you Louisa, we appreciate it' Steven was easy to please, actually. Camilla thank me too and both of them returned to the house. The moment the door was closed, Will cursed.

'Why would you condenm me to that? God help me!'

'It can't be that bad! I'll make a good dinner so you forgive me.' He still was glaring.

'I'll let you know tomorrow if the food was good enough to forgive that.'

Alright, all ready. I just needed to fix the table and I could go home to continue packing. In two days time, this place wil be my home. I hope that this arrangement work. And I hope that all this...things I've been feeling each time I locked eyes with Will, or each time he tries to comfort me, won't become a problem. There was a knock on the door, and I went to open it. They were just on time. I lead them to the table and called for Will.

'Oh this is lovely, thank you again.'

'Son, how are you?'

'Okay Dad, what about you?' He was rolling over to where I was standing.

'We are more than fine, this is a good evening.' I smiled, they were trying after all, to be close to their son. And it seems that their son wouldn't make it easy.

'Sorry to interrupt, but I'm going now, I leave you to it.'

'Louisa, after all this work, I was hoping you could stay and have dinner with us.' I wasn't expecting that.

'Mmmhh I should go, this is a family dinner.'

'Please stay Clark, my mother has not fed me since I was two, I don't want to go there again.' Will whispered this to me, his eyes pleading with me to stay.

'I don't know...' He kept looking at me and my resolution cracked. 'Okay, fine, I'll stay'

'Geat! Let start, this smells wonderfull' Steven clap his hands once, looking over the table deciding what to eat first. With dessert came the questions.

'So Louisa, there is something that you love? Something that you would like to spend your life doing?'

'Oh yes, there is. I love clothes, I would like to study to be a fashion designer, but whe I got the oporunity...something happened and I lose my chances.'

'That is a shame, and you didn't thought about it again?'

'Yes, but i can't. My parents depend on me for now. My Dad, you see, lost his job and my sister went to college again. Now it's not possible.' Talking about this made me sad, I'm really stuck in this town. The good thing is that now I'm stuck here but in a new environment . But the thought of not waking up on weekends to the face of my sister looking like she is always constipated, brought me some joy. Will rest his hand on my knee an squeeze as much as he can, giving me support. He didn't know that the only thing he acomplish with that was making my heart rate go up.

* * *

Will insisted on lending me the car to go home that night, so tomorrow I wouldn't have to go to de annex, go home for my things and go back to de annex. The next morning my mom was crying, as if it were the last day she was going to see me. My dad was a little sad that all this drama between the family was happening. The only thing left to do was load my belongins to the car, since I finished packing last night while thinking on the next outing to do with Will. I didn't have much, almost everything I own is clothes, and a few photos and books and some decorations that said LOU the moment you lay your eyes on them. I was waiting for Nat's text saying they were finished with routine.

 _'Ready to come home? We are waiting ! The tea is going to freeze!. Will_

Every time a text from Will came I get exited, I didn't get used to it yet, he has his voice recognition system installed a few weeks ago, but didn't used it much.

' _I'm in need of something sweet right now, I'm starting the car. L'_

 _'It seems Nat too, he bought ALL the bakery. W'_

 _'I did not! N'_

I was laughing inside the car like a crazy woman, so I decided to just go and let my mother looking dejected, standing in the sidewalk.

'Look who's here!' was the first sentence I heard the moment I opened the door.

'Nat, you're awfully cheerful this morning' I said grinning like the Cheshire cat.

'You are one to talk.' He looked at me up and down, observing my yellow sweater and red skirt. ' I could think you're heading to a funeral' I shoved him playfully and sit next to Will.

'How bad were your parents? They want me dead yet?'

'Mom was cleaning the floor with tears and dad look sad because he knew I was avoidin my sister by leaving today'

'I think that any person that have siblings avoided them sometime' Nat said while bringing breakfast to the table.

'He really buy the bakery'

That night I was in my pyjamas, a soft gray with white stars bottoms and a Looney Toons t-shirt, heading for a drink when I heard Will call me from the living, it was early still, so he was still in the chair.

'Clark, I know where we are going next.' This take me by surprise, usually if I didn't insist, he didn't go out, execpt the strolls we take in the gardens. I stood there, waiting for him to continue, and he make me wait a little longer that he probably should, just to make me more anxious.

'We are going to Alicia's wedding.' Okay, did I heard right? He actually wanted to go? He was some kind of masochist?

'Are you kidding me?'

'Why would I be kidding you? We should go, because she won't expect me to be there. I just want to have the satisfaction to see her face fall when she sees me there. And Rupert's too, of course.'

'And you want me to go with you? I'm not going to fit in, I could even smell the posh scent in the invitation.'

'Don't be ridiculous, just put on the red dress and don't worry about it. You looked gorgeous in it.' Apparently, he didn't intent to speak this outloud, his face start to gain color just like mine did, and before losing the nerve I reply.

'Okay, it's a date'

* * *

We decide to go on a walk, and after a while, we reached the swell of the hill, and from here, at the front of the moat, we could look down the long sweep of grass to the ruined wall that had marked the boundary.

'It's weird, how the age differences seem to change so much.' I was thinking out loud.

'How so?'

'Look at us, we have eight years of difference. If you wanted to start a friendship with a random twelve years old, when you had twenty, they would have lock you somewhere.' At that he laughed and look at me in interest. ' But years after that, if you would want to date a twenty two years old girl, everybody would look at you like a little judgmentally, but won't say nothing, just look you with cross eyes. In a couple of years, the same people would think it cute to see an older guy with that cute little girl, such a nice couple. Come on, it's the same difference, twenty two, twenty eight or thirty.' When I finished my rant, he was smiling and chuckling while shaking his head.

'From where on earth do things like this enter your head? The funny thing is that you analyse every thought that enter your head, like you don't have any filter.' He was right, I didn't know from where either.

'I don't have any idea' His smile grew wider and he looked exited about something.

'Come on'

After following him in silence, his voice startled me.

''Let's do the maze. I haven't done it for ages.'

'Oh. No, thanks.' I glanced over, noticing suddenly where we were.

'Why, are you afraid of getting lost? Come on, Clark. It'll be a challenge for you. See if you can memorize the route you take in, then take the reverse one out. I'll time you. I used to do it all the time.'

I glanced back towards the house. 'I'd really rather not.' Even the thought of it had brought a knot to my stomach.

'Ah. Playing safe again.'

'That's not it.'

'No problem, lets go bore ourselves to death in the annexe.'

Perhaps I had been behaving ridiculously for years. It was all over, after all. And I was moving on. Perhaps if I enter the maze I could leave all of what happened behind and it would be good for me. So I started walking before overthinking it. Right, Left, Left, Right... When I was deep enough my bravery start to wear out. I could hear voices everywhere, shadows haunting me. I turned around suddenly, I didn't want to be here anymore, my chest started to compress, it wasn't enough air. I started walking to the exit point. I should be able to make it, I'm twenty-seven years old, it's daylight and there are no one here. Just Will, that's it, I have to go to Will. I just have to remember the turns...

'Will … ' I was sobbing now, crouched over myself.

'Will,' I was saying his name, over and over again, my voice ragged, emerging somewhere from my chest. I heard him somewhere far off, beyond the hedge.

'Louisa? Louisa, where are you? What's the matter?' I was in a corner, sitting there with my arms around me and my face wet with my tears. I just want him to find me, to take me home.

'Will … '

'Where are – ?' And there he was, in front of me.

'I'm sorry,' I said, looking up, my face contorted. 'I'm sorry. I can't … do it.'

He lifted his arm a couple of inches 'Oh Jesus, what the – ? Come here, Lou. Come on, it's okay' He moved forward, then glanced down at his arm in frustration. 'Bloody useless thing … It's okay. Just breathe. Come here. Just breathe. Slowly.'

I saw him and stood up reaching for him, the only thing in my mind in that moment was that I needed to breathe and wanted comfort. So I climbed into his lap and buried my face in his neck.

'Just take me out of here. Please.' He didn't say anything, but started taking turns quickly through the maze and we were outside in no time. He stopped next to a bench and stay quiet until I calm down completely.

'So...? You want to tell me what's going on?' His breath touched my neck and I felt a shudder run through my back. I lifted my head and looked him in the eyes. They were looking at me full of concern and the only thing I wanted was take that look away. But when I was about to started talking, my voice got stuck in my throat.

'I can't. It's not you,' I said, hurriedly. 'I haven't talked to anyone about … It's … it's stupid. And a long time ago. I didn't think … I would …' He put his good hand in my hip and it surprised me when I felt his thumb running soothing circles there, the best way it could.

'Okay. Here's a thing,' he said, finally. 'I'll tell you something that I never tell anyone. All right?'

'All right.' I watched the emotions running wild on his face while he told me about how everyone makes him feel. It was awful to feel so alone, so isolated, so scared. And I was able to understand every word and feeling he was describing.

'You, Clark,' he looked down at his hands, 'are the only person I have felt able to talk to since I ended up in this bloody thing.' So I borrowed some courage from him, and told him my story. All that I remembered, about not remembering all of what they had done. How my mind keep playing sadistic games with me every time I tried to step a foot outside town. How it still scare me to walk alone at night, fearing that they come back.

'You don't need me to tell you it wasn't your fault,' he said, quietly. I looked into his eyes and they were not disapproving, and they didn't held a trace of accusation were Wills.

'Yes. Well. I still feel … responsible. I drank too much to show off. I was a terrible flirt. I was –'

'No. They were responsible.' I wasn't entirely convinced, and he noticed. His hand tightened in my hip, and I looked up. 'Louisa. It wasn't your fault.'

Just with those four words, he lifted a world from my shoulders, it felt like some kind of dark force was leaving my body in that moment, while another force, so powerful, replace the empty space it leave behind. It fill me up, I could sense this new force making my fingertips tingle, and my chest to expand. It was so strange, I couldn't figure what was it, until I looked at him again. It was love.


End file.
